Funny Quotes On Love



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Funny Quotes On Love


Relationships are hard.
It's like a full time job,
and we should treat it like one.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you,
they should give you two weeks' notice.
There should be severance pay,
and before they leave you,
they should have to find you a temp.

Don't make someone
a priority in your life,
when all your are to them is an option.

You can't put a price tag on love,
but you can on all its accessories.

Women complain about
premenstrual syndrome,
but I think of it as the only time
of the month that I can be myself.

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A Bachelor of Arts
is one who makes love
to a lot of women,
and yet has the art
to remain a bachelor.

The first sigh of love
is the last breath of wisdom.

Bigamy is having
one wife/husband too many.
Monogamy is the same.

Let us now set forth one of the
fundamental truths about marriage:
the wife is in charge.

We are all a little weird
and when we find someone
whose weirdness is
compatible with ours,
we join up with them
and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

A woman broke up with me
and sent me pictures of her
and her new boyfriend in bed together.
Solution? I sent them to her dad.

My wife is a light eater.
As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

A man loses his sense
of direction after four drinks;
A woman loses hers after four kisses

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Love is only a dirty trick
played on us to achieve
continuation of the species.

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.

A term used to describe a woman
who has the morals of a man.

Do you know why they call it “PMS”?
Because “Mad Cow Disease” was taken.

My parents only had
one argument in forty five years.
It lasted forty three years.

Marriage is too interesting
an experiment to be tried only once.

Instead of getting married again,
I’m going to find a woman I don’t like
and give her a house.

When a man talks dirty to a woman,
it's sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man,
it's $3.95 a minute.

In every successful relationship
the MAN always has the last word - "Yes Dear."

Rules of a relationship
Rule 1: The girlfriend is always right;
Rule 2: When the girlfriend is wrong see rule 1.


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