Funny Love Quotes



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Funny Love Quotes


Love is an electric blanket with
somebody else in control of the switch.

Boys should abstain from all use
of wine until their eighteenth year,
for it is wrong to add fire to fire.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Well, a girlfriend once
told me never to fight
with anybody you don't love.

No relationships can work
until a boyfriend can understand
every word that the girlfriend
is NOT saying

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Just say no prevents
teenage pregnancy the way
'Have a nice day'
cures chronic depression.

If it weren't for women,
Men would still be
Wearing last week's socks

My boyfriend and I live together,
which means we don't have sex - ever.
Now that the milk is free,
we've both become lactose intolerant.

What's LOVE?
In math: A problem.
In history: A war.
In chemistry: A reaction.
In art: A heart.
...In me: You.

I wouldn't call him a slave.
I don't whip him
when he does something wrong.
Just when he does something good.

Any girl that thinks
that the way to a man's heart
is through his stomach
is aiming a little too high

All Men Are Animals;
Some Just Make Better Pets.

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My boyfriend calls me 'princess',
but I think of myself
more along the lines of
'monkey' and 'retard'.

Marriage is the triumph
of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph
of hope over experience.

Four things a woman should know:
How to look like a girl,
How to act like a lady,
How to think like a man,
And how to work like a dog.

I wanted to make it
really special on Valentine's day,
so I tied my boyfriend up.
And for three solid hours
I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

Never trust anything that
bleeds for a week and doesn't die

Whatever women must do
they must do
twice as well as men
to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult.

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.

None of us are virgins,
life has screwed us all

There's an expiration date
stamped on my eggs:
'Best if used before
you start looking like your mother.'


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